There is no perfect person

One misconception (or myth) is that there is a perfect person out there with whom we will have no conflict. The fact is that everyone (no matter who) presents problems, raises issues, and engages us in conflicts at one time or another.

This is because conflicts arise as we spend more time together and perhaps live together. People down the street may not get on our nerves, next door neighbors do pose more problems (kids, noise, spill over onto your property, park in your spot, etc.), and those we live with add even more problems to the list (i.e., should the toilet seat be left up or down? Which way should the toilet paper be put on the roll?). Some people who do not care if a distant neighbor smokes, can't stand a roommate doing it inside or near their front door. We can tolerate more from strangers than we can from those we spend a lot of time around. That is because we are affected more when those who irritate us are those we are around or care about the most.

So if we plan to spend more time with another person or plan to live with them, we should not be surprised that the list of possible conflicts increases dramatically and the list contains some rather trivial matters.

The point then is not to try to avoid other people or to look for someone who is perfect, but rather to learn how to manage the expected conflicts in our everyday lives. Future posts are designed to help us all better manage our conflicts with others.
(Picture by jewelsbeauty)